Gone
by MeowsterGirl218
Summary: When a mission to defeat a meta turns south, everyone is hurt. Barry and Iris is alive, but Where's Caitlin?
1. Chapter 1

**Guys, this is a SNOWBARRY book BTW, so warning for everyone! TY FOR READING, THANKS.**

 **Barry's POV**

Cisco busted the car door open, and started to slowly help me out of the car. Wells and Cisco rested my arms over their necks as they rushed me into S.T.A.R Labs. I was clenching my side since I was losing a lot of blood, which was making me dizzy.

I started to drowse off. "Barry"! Cisco yelled. "Stay with me"! He said. Those were the only words that kept me from passing out, from giving up.

They immediately rested my body onto one of the stretchers and began to tear off my suit and started to care for my wounds. I could hear Iris running in and seeing her face full of bruises, but also tears. I wish that I could wipe away her tears only because she was just wasting her tears crying for me since I always end up like this, hurt. The feeling of these wounds was numb, I've gotten used to being thrown to the ground, having my ribs cracked, and having a bloody face. This was the cost of promising to protect and save people you care about.

Wells kept trying to move Iris to another room, but she kept resisting, until she realized that she really needed to leave. Cisco put an anesthesia mask on my mouth, and gradually the anesthesia started to kick in as my eyes got heavy, and I blacked out.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

My eyes slowly opened, and everyone was blurry for a second, until my eyes became focused. I noticed Cisco, a big smile was spread across Cisco's face.

Cisco sighed, "Thank goodness, you're alive man" He said. I was surprised that he said that, because I've been The Flash for so long and I've survived the worst of the worst, of course I'd be alive.

"Yea" I responded with a raspy voice. The room became silent.

He then showed me an x-ray of my body, "Well, you suffered from a gunshot to your side, three cracked ribs, and a fractured arm, but since you're metabolism is fast, it'd only take a few hours for your body to heal" He said. It's always a lot to take it, whenever I was told I fractured or broke something, even though I can heal fast, my body can take so much beating.

"Well, I'll be in the next room working on something. Call me if you need me" He said. He then smiled again and I put on the best smile I could. When he left, my smile disappeared, and the feeling of anxiety and stress came over me. In a matter of seconds, I could hear the sound of heels coming my way. My eyes then shifted to Iris, who was slowly approaching me.

As soon as our eyes met, she was overcome with emotion. "I thought I was going to lose you" She said, trying to talk through her tears. Without saying anything else, she wrapped her hands around me and rested her head onto my shoulder.

My memory started to become clear of what had happened hours ago. I was facing a meta that could duplicate itself and I simply could've put him in meta cuffs, but I kept getting distracted. Ever since, I heard that Iris could be killed in the future, all my focus has been on her, solely on her, nothing else.

The room was silent. She then busted into tears, sporadically. She sniffled, "It's all my fault" She said, as if it was a confession.

I then delicately grabbed her chin by my hands, "Stop" I said, in the sternest voice I could. I didn't want Iris to say this was her fault, when it was mine.

"It was" She said. She then took a deep breath, "I had to choose between you or Caitlin, and I had to choose to save you" Iris said. Another memory kicked in and I remembered how Caitlin and I were arguing about if she should use her powers or not, and I kept insisting that she should because we needed her help. I, now, realized how selfish I was.

"What are you talking about"? I asked.

She sniffled, "The reason why that meta started beating me was because I was protecting you, Barry, but I couldn't protect"-

"Where is she"? I asked. Iris gave me the longest stare, and I knew that stare. The _I'm sorry_ , stare.

"I'm sorry, Barry" She said.

"Where is she"? I asked, more sternly. I was getting impatient, if Iris wasn't going to tell me, then I was going to find out for myself. I then started to shift off my bed, trying to stand up.

Iris then planted her hand onto my shoulder. "Barry, please don't. You haven't even healed, yet" She said.

"I have to" I said. I then zoomed out of S.T.A.R. Labs and into an area that looked like a parking lot. This was where it all went down. I was a bit tipsy at first, but I forced myself to walk better. "Caitlin"! I yelled. I looked around, and I didn't find any trace of her. I kept walking until I stepped on something painful. I turned my foot around and noticed ice shards, blood dripping down them.

"Not now" I said in an irritated voice. I couldn't stop and take time to remove the shards from my foot, rather I just managed to walk on one foot. I was walking past a gate and noticed a boot peeking from behind it. I immediately ran to it, and there was Caitlin on the concrete ground, looking lifeless with blood on her jacket and bruises on her face. I couldn't even look at her because it was as if she was beaten and left for dead.

I then dropped to the ground and kneelt by her side. I kept repeating her name, and she didn't flinch not even once. I then picked her up, and was about to zoom back to S.T.A.R. Labs until I noticed her eyes open halfway, revealing icy, blue eyes. Killer Frost's eyes.

"B-Baarrryyy" Caitlin said, as if she was drunk. "It hurts" She said, in a whiny voice.

A sigh of relief came over me, "I thought you were dead" I said, a small smile spread across my face. My smile then disappeared as I saw Caitlin's eyes close back again and her body weight became heavier,

"No..Noo! Caitlin stay with me"! I yelled. I then put her back down on the ground. Her white hair started to turn back to her actual brown color. Her eyes then opened, and they were brown now.

She lightly chuckled, "Tell Cisco...that I'll miss him" She said tearfully, as she was trying her hardest to speak against the pain.

I tried my hardest not to let those long-awaited tears run down my face. "Don't talk like that" I said.

She then softly touched my cheek with her hand and caressed my cheek with her thumb. She then started to sob, "I'll miss you too" She said. There was silence. "I never got to tell you, Barry...that I've always loved you" She said. I stared into Caitlin's eyes for a second, not believing that this was truly Caitlin talking.

"W-What"? I asked, in shock.

She grinned at my confusion. "I never told you because you always have so much on your plate" She said. She sniffled, "I just want to see you happy" She said, selflessly.

Caitlin then started to slowly raise her head up, and she gently touched her forehead against mine, and we both closed her eyes. There was silence, again. She then pressed her lips against mine. I didn't care how cold it was outside, her lips against mine made it warm, but I got the feeling that this wasn't right.

I stopped, "I-I can't do this, this is wrong" I said, clearing my throat. As we parted, I could see Caitlin's eyes, they were full of sadness. There was silence between us and the only thing you could hear was the wind and the night train passing by.

Caitlin then rested her back against the concrete She then gave me a smile, a beautiful smile. She then closed her eyes and her head slowly turned to the side.

"Caitlin"! I kept called after her name. "NO"! I kept yelling. I couldn't believe that this was real, this was impossible; my best friend couldn't have just died in my arms. I kept calling after her name, even though I knew it was useless.

 _Why now?_ She's always suppose to be there for me, and me there for her. I started to blame myself, and then started to blame Iris, how could Iris choose me over Caitlin? My job is to put my life on the line for people, not Caitlin, she wasn't ready to use her powers, but all I cared about was about the future, not worrying about what was going around me.

Dad wasn't the type of dad that would tell me that crying was for weak men, but I always believed the opposite, it did make you weak. Tears started to roll down my face.

"I'm tired" I heard a voice say. I then looked at Caitlin, as her eyes opened again.

"Caitlin"! I yelled. I then grabbed her from the ground and tightly embraced her like I wasn't going to let go. She the wrapped her hands around me and rested her face into my shoulder, I could hear her muffled sobs. She didn't even have to say anything for me to understand what she was feeling.

I then picked up Caitlin and zoomed back to S.T.A.R. Labs, since she was seriously losing a lot of blood, and I was starting to become dizzy. I didn't know what was going to become of us after I would wake up. She told me that she loved me, how can I just ignore that and live life like it's normal? _I can't, and I won't_


	2. Chapter 2

I stared at Caitlin, who was, now, resting on a stretcher. I then took her hand and held it, "Be strong, Cait" I said in a quiet voice.

I heard footsteps behind me and I turned around and saw Cisco, slowly walking in. "Don't worry, she's one of the strongest people I know" He said with a little smile to reassure me.

I silently nodded in agreement, "Yea" I said, the only words I could muster.

"How is she holding up"? I asked, breaking the silence.

"Well" Cisco said. "Her vitals are good, but her injures are….horrible. I'm no specialist, but it seems like she was struggling a lot to run away from him, but the more she did that, the more the metahuman attacked her" Cisco said. It was hard to not imagine Cait being kicked and punched around, as if she was some disposable thing.

Cisco rested his hand on my shoulder, "Don't worry, though, she's healing from Killer Frost's healing abilities" He said.

I then stood up from the stool and then headed to the wall across from me, and grabbed the coat from the hook. "I'm going home, I don't want to keep Iris worried and waiting" I said, putting the jacket over my head and putting my arms through the sleeves.

"If ANYTHING happens to her, call me" I said, sternly. Cisco nodded and then went to the next room, to get something.

I buttoned my jacket and threw the hanging piece of scarf across my neck. I then approached Caitlin once again, and looked at her. I then bent down and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek. As if, that would do anything.

"Bye, Cisco"! I yelled, walking toward the exit. He yelled goodbye back, and I was on my way home

I approached our apartment room, and dug my hands into my pockets, looking for the key. In seconds, the door swung open, and I saw Iris.

"Hey" I said, in an exhausted tone. I then entered inside, and the first I did was to plop onto the green seat across from the TV.

"Dinner's in the microwave" She said. "I'm going to bed" She said. Immediately, I could tell something was off. I immediately stood up from the couch, and rushed towards her.

I grabbed her wrist before she made any movement up the stairs. "What's wrong"? I asked, looking into her eyes.

She gave me the longest stare, as if the question I had asked her was stupid. "You never would have told me, would you"? She asked, her eyes becoming full of water.

"Iris, what are you talking about"? I asked.

"When you left to go save Caitlin, Cisco tracked your location and was able to hack into the cameras of the parking lot" She said. "I heard and saw everything". Immediately, there was a wash of guilt.

"How could you"? She asked, a tear falling down her face.

"I-Iris, it's not what you think, I"- She then yanked her hand out of my grasp, and then moved back.

"Don't tell me that" She said. She sighed, "Barry, do you even love me"? She asked.

I scoffed, "Of course, I do" I said, moving towards her, only for her to move a step back.

"Then, choose" She said.

"Choose what"? I asked.

"Caitlin or me"? She asked.

As those words came out of her mouth, I felt my heart starting to pound faster. "I-Iris I'm not choosing, this is ridiculous" I said, putting my hands up in frustration.

She then walked past me and was headed towards the door. She grabbed the doorknob and then turned around to me, "Choose" She said again.

"Iris, I'm not going to choose"! I yelled back.

"I swear on my mom's grave, Barry! If you do not choose, I'm walking out of here and never looking back"! She yelled, back with anger.

"It was just a kiss, Iris"! I yelled.

Immediately, she took off the engagement ring, and threw it at me, and it was rolling somewhere on the ground. "If it was just a kiss, maybe that was just a stupid ring" She said.

"Iris, you seriously aren't doing this" I said, looking for the ring.

"You're right, I'm not doing this anymore" She yelled. She walked past me and up the stairs. In a matter of minutes, she had luggage following her down the stairs.

I then grabbed her wrist, "Iris, you're being ridiculous"! I yelled. She struggled to get out of my grasp.

"Don't touch me" She said. "You'd rather choose her over me, what a bullshit choice" She said.

I still had my hand on her wrist. "Let me go" She said. "Barry, let me go"! She yelled. As soon as I let go, she rushed to the door.

"Don't you dare follow me" She said, sternly. She unlocked it, and she was gone. The only thing left was the loud slam of the door, and the gush of wind that came with it.

I sighed, not knowing what to do, right now. It was like everything happened so fast, she ended everything so fast. I ended everything so fast, when I kissed Caitlin. I kicked the nearest thing next to me, and pounded the wall, ignoring the pain.

"No, it's not ending like this" I muttered to myself. I rushed towards the door, and left the room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Merry Christmas guys 3**

 **Barry's POV**

I slammed the door behind me and started rushing down the stairs which leads into the hobby. I soon as I reached the first floor, my head was turning left and right looking for Iris.

I approached Randy, the night-shift security guard. "Randy, have you seen Iris"? I asked, my hands gripping onto the counter.

"Uhh…She just passed by right now but"- As soon as I heard that she was still somewhere close, I immediately dashed out of the door and into the parking lot. It only took me a few seconds to spot her. She was putting her luggage into her trunk.

"Iris"! I yelled to her, for her attention. Immediately she looked up, and then started rushing to fit the last luggage into her trunk, so she could drive away. I zoomed to her car and blocked her from closing the trunk.

"Iris, you're not going anywhere" I said.

She moved left and right, trying to move away from me, but I blocked her every move. She looked into my eyes, "Barry, move"! She yelled.

I scoffed, "So, you're throwing everything away. Our friendship, everything, just because I kissed"-

"Yes, because you kissed her"! She yelled back. She sighed and relaxed her shoulders, "Just give me space, because right now I-I feel like I can't even breathe" She said.

"How do you think I felt when you made me choose between you and Caitlin. Two people that I care about" I said.

"Then, you obviously care more about her than me, right"? She asked. I was becoming frustrated at how she would flip everything I would say.

I ignored her question. "Where are you going to stay"? I asked.

"I-I'll find a nearby hotel" She said. There was a few seconds of silence.

I moved away from the car and allowed her to move. "Are you ever coming back"? I asked, for reassurance.

She closed the trunk and then opened the driver's car door, "Goodbye, Barry" She said, coldly. Immediately, I knew that was the answer to my question. It was then I knew that I really betrayed her.

She entered into the car and slammed the car door shut. I kneeled down near the door, and rested my arm on the open window. "You know that I love you, Iris, right"? I asked, a tear dropping down my face.

"I don't know what to think anymore" She said, her voice cracking. She then rolled the window up and turned on the car. I watched as she backed up and left me, outside, alone in the cold, starry night.

I was about to walk back inside until my phone started ringing. I looked at the name that was plastered on the phone, _Cisco._ Immediately I knew why he was calling. I then zoomed all the way to S.T.A.R. Labs.

* * *

I walked into S.T.A.R Labs and started walking fast, into the Cortex. "Cisco"! I called out for him.

In a matter of seconds, Cisco came out of his office. "I've been calling you, Barry" He said.

"W-What happened to her"? I asked, as we walked into the room where Caitlin was.

"See for yourself" He said, a small smile spreading on his face. I looked at him suspiciously, and as I peeked my head inside the room. I saw Caitlin standing up, looking healthy.

"Cait" I muttered to myself. Her attention immediately turned to me, and I dashed to her, giving her the tightest hug I could muster.

"You're okay" I said, resting my face into her shoulder. It was like this was the only thing good that was happening to me right now.

"All because of you" She said back, her chin resting on mine.

Cisco cleared his throat, "W-Well..uhh..I'll be on my office..working" He said, awkwardly. We then parted from our hug and laughed at Cisco's awkwardness.

There was silence in the room. I cleared my throat, "Cait, I know that you just woke up, but can we talk"? I asked her. She gave me a familiar glare, that she knew what I wanted to talk about.

"It's about the kiss, right"? She asked, in a quiet tone. I nodded silently, and there was more silence.

"I'm sorry, Cait, but I don't think I can reciprocate the feeling" I said, sincerely. My voice started to crack, "And I really hope that this doesn't ruin what we have, _as friends_ " I said.

I waited for Caitlin, to respond, but she couldn't because her eyes started to water, and tears started to fall down her cheeks.

"I-It's all my fault, Barry" She said, through her sobs.

"No..Cait, no" I said, attempting to grab her into hug, but only for her to walk past me, leaving the room.

"Caitlin"! I yelled for her, to come back. I left the room, and was about to follow her, until Cisco told me not to.

"Crying is going to increase her blood pressure, maybe it's not a good idea" He said, trying to say it in the nicest way.

I nodded in agreement, and flashed him a small smile. "Yea" I said. "I'll take my leave…see you later" I said. I was walking toward the door, and then saw Caitlin sobbing in a room.

"I'm sorry" I muttered under my breath, as I watched her sob. I then left S.T.A.R. Labs, heading back to my apartment, _all alone_.

 **I hope you guys aren't mad, and please know this is NOT a WA Fanfic…so ;) Stay tuned for another chapter**


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